New mothers: 10 tips for surviving the first 6 weeks.

On the third day after my first son was born a midwife looked at me with a gentle face and said the first six weeks are the hardest. I then started crying, mostly because I felt so overwhelmed and also because my nipples were so badly damaged that I felt like they were about to fall off. For me the first six weeks were indeed the hardest. My second son was born five months ago and although there is only sixteen months between my boys I still think it was the first six weeks as a new mum that were the toughest.

It was a real shock. Sleep deprivation followed very closely by feeding problems were my main issues. There were times in the first few days where I thought to myself, Oh my God, what have I done?. I was really scared of going home and leaving the security of the hospital.

It was tough but somehow I got through it and the first six weeks turned into six months, then a year went by then before I knew it my second beautiful son was born.

Here is a list of some tips that you can do now to help you get through this time

1. Sleep when the baby sleeps. For some this advice might work however as soon as bub went to sleep I had bottles to wash and his baby clothes to soak. It was not practical for me to sleep each time he drifted off and it would have caused me more stress knowing that I had so much to do. A strategy that worked well for me was to do the bare minimum housework and the washing of clothes and bottles through his morning sleeps, and then have a rest in the afternoon. This routine also worked well when I was pregnant with my second son and exhausted.

2. Get out of the house. This is something I didnt do until after about four weeks and I regretted it. Just getting out for a bit even if its to the letterbox to get the mail really lifts you up. Taking the baby for a walk in the pram around the block or making a trip to the shops or to a friends house is worth the effort.

3. Start off with a shower. Getting out of your pyjamas before midday can sometimes seem impossible. Having your shower before your partner leaves for work means you avoid that Oh no! Im still in my pyjamas and its the afternoon feeling. If it isnt practical to shower first thing, does it really matter that you are in your pyjamas all day anyway?

4. Dont count the hours you sleep. When you are up all night with an unsettled baby you can become obsessed with the sleep you are not getting. Dont try and work out how much sleep or lack of sleep you had the night before. Each day is a new day so think about facing the day ahead and forget about what happened last night.

5. Look after yourself. With a new baby it is easy to forget about you, but if you dont look after yourself who will be there to look after bub? So sit down to do things like changing baby if possible, keep up with eating nutritious foods, and do as little as possible. Try and give yourself a little treat each day. Reading a few pages of my favourite magazine, having a cup of tea, or chatting to a friend on the phone all made me feel normal sometimes, its the small things that matter.

6. Praise yourself. So you successfully put baby to sleep without tears or you ventured out for the first time with baby in tow praise yourself for a job well done and trust your instincts. Mum knows best, so if what you are doing is working for you and your family, keep on doing it no matter what anyone says.

7. Find a good GP. I wasnt entirely happy with my GP and there was no way he was good enough for my baby, so I asked around and found an excellent one. A GP who is comfortable with babies, works flexible hours and is willing to accommodate you in an emergency is worth finding.

8. Join a Mothers or New Parents Group. One of the best things I ever did was to heed the advice of my Early Childhood Centre Nurse and join a Mothers Group. The Early Childhood Centre in my local area organised a group for me to join. The first four sessions were structured discussions and were led by one of the nurses at the Early Childhood Centre. Topics covered included sleep and settling, caring for a newborn, and getting to know your new baby. After the first four weeks it was up to the group to continue our get togethers however it suited us. We have met once week since this time and we all look forward to our regular catch-ups.

9. Accept offers of help. Dont be too proud to accept offers of help and dont be afraid to ask family and friends. Arrange a support network so you can have time out by yourself as well as with your partner.

10. Play with bub. When you look back to this time you wont believe how fast it went even if you dont think so now. Cuddles, kisses, singing, talking and play time are all important ways of communicating with your baby and getting to know them. The more you learn about your bub the easier it is to read their signs.

As each day passes it will get easier. You will sleep through the night, fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes and you will be your own person again and not just the babys mother. So use these tips now and remember you will get through it.